Robert Charles, died on 8th November, 2022, aged 84. Much loved husband, proud father and Gramps. Service at 11.30 a.m. at Test Valley Crematorium, Romsey on Friday 19th November. No flowers. Donations if desired to Oakhaven Hospice.

 Dr.John R Barton, is his nephew and wrote:  He only lived in the Unitd States for two years but, remember his time at Lafayette High School where he participated in the swimming and water polo teams.  Following graduation, he returned to his native England where he served in the Bristish Army and also was apponted as a diplomatic ambassador to Queen Elizabeth II.

From the Minister:

Welcome to everyone here or joining us remotely to share a few moments to remember Robert Charles Letchworth. A particular welcome to his eldest son Dave, who cannot be with us and who is in Perth Australia, to his daughter Katherine’s South African family and friends and our American family The Bartons – who will all be joining us by livestream – there are a few good things that have come out of Covid…..

Everyone will have their own memories of Charles but the family would like me to highlight some of the dates and key moments in his amazing life, which many of you will have played a part in.

Robert Charles Letchworth was born to Joyce and Robert in 1937 in Thames Ditton on the outskirts of London and soon after the outbreak of World War 2 he moved to Tenby in Pembrokeshire with his mum and his elder sister Gill. His brother Anthony was born 3 years after him. His early years in Tenby were often spent on the beach, learning to swim at a very early age. His love affair with Tenby was to last his entire life.

After the war, the 3 of them were looked after for some time in Tenby by Cynthia, their maternal Aunt, whilst their mother moved to Frankfurt to a job, after the marriage to their father broke up.

In 1948 Gill, Charles and Antony emigrated to Capitola, California in United States, where they went to join their mother who then married an American Army Officer, Dorsa Lasater.  Charles was 11. A year later they took a transport ship to Bremerhaven in Germany as their stepfather was posted there. His early years, rather like his life was to be, were peppered with travel.

In 1951 aged 14 Charles was sent to boarding school at  Dean Close, in Cheltenham, where he says that “ sport played an important part of his life”– whereas the academic side of things did not ignite his passions!

Aged 16, he emigrated to the US for the second time and enrolled and completed his schooling at Lafayette High School in Lexington, Kentucky where he had considerable success in athletics, swimming and with his newspaper round!

In 1955 Charles made the decision to return to Germany with Dorsa and his mother. His elder sister Gill, remained in Lexington and subsequently married Jimmy Barton in 1956.

His army career began when he started his national service with in May 1956 and he was quickly accepted onto a 2 year Officer Cadet course which he began at Sandhurst in 1957. His pay during this time was the equivalent of £1.75 per week! In December 1958 he was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the Royal Artillery. (Pronounce Left - tenant please!)

His love for sport continued to be a theme throughout his army career and he  enjoyed rugby, sailing, swimming, waterpolo, fencing, squash, shooting, and running at a very high standard.

During one of his periods of leave from the army he was fortunately introduced to Judith Ann Letchworth by his mother. After not making a great impression with her on their first date - as he forgot her name when he was due to introduce her to his mates- she later forgave him and they were engaged in1961 and married in 1963.  The pitter patter of tiny feet soon followed with the arrival of David in 1964, Paul in 1966 and Katherine in 1970.

His distinguished and successful army career lasted a total of 30 years and saw him gaining the coveted red beret and parachute wings and rising to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel.  His postings took him all over the world including places such as Northern Ireland, West Germany, Cyprus, The Gulf, NATO in Brussels and Ghana, West Africa where he was a Director of The Ghanaian Staff College.

On their return from Ghana in 1980, Charles and family relocated to Lymington and moved into 1 Avenue Road in Lymington. This was to become a very happy family home for 29 years.  Avenue Road was a relaxed and welcoming home which saw many parties, dinner parties and youngsters of all appearances through its front door. Every Christmas saw new surrogate members of the family joining the Christmas festivities and being warmly welcomed to the family by Charles and Judy Ann.

In1986 Charles left the Army and soon after began a job as a Queen’s Messenger, or as he put it a “Glorified Postman”, carrying classified documents in diplomatic bags to foreign embassies and commonwealth offices across the world. He spent approximately 175 days away from home each year and travelled extensively, bumping into his children Katherine and Dave regularly on his travels.

Leaving the Army opened up new opportunities which he embraced with great energy and excitement. Sailing trips over to France with his mates, a passion for golf, cycling from Canada to Mexico and invariably finding an excuse to combine any of these with his passion for fine food, wine and conversation.

During his time as a Queen’s Messenger, which was an adventurous 10 years, Charles also served the local community as a Magistrate or Justice of the Peace and took on a BA Degree with the Open University. He soon realized the degree was not intellectually challenging enough so decided to take on a MA PART time in criminal justice. In 1994 after what turned out to be quite a challenge, he completed the course and brought his broad legal knowledge to various discussions around the family dinner tables on many occasions.

In 1997 Charles retired as a Queen’s Messenger and was soon back at work again spending an enjoyable few years working on  various European Maritime projects with Graham Clark.  These projects incorporated his love for travel and communication, with his organisational skills, integrity and tremendous work ethic.

In his spare time he embarked on the renovation of Fern House, a rundown property that he had inherited in Tenby.  This proved to be a massive project, that took a number of years, but Charles‘ persistence and attention to detail meant that he succeeded in transforming this property back to its former glory.

Charles also managed to find some time to play golf.  He loved his golf! Golf was a key part of his life for much of the time in Lymington, making many truly great friends along the way.  In 2001 he was elected captain of Brockenhurst Manor Golf Club a position of responsibility that he took seriously and to which he brought  his endless passion and enthusiasm.

These years were jam packed with overseas travel, golf, magistrate duties, more overseas travel, more golf and family.  . There was never a dull moment in Charles’s life and as Judy Ann knew only too well, he just never sat still.

Charles eventually retired for the third and final time in 2007 and during the following year he and Judy Ann moved to 5 Grosvenor Gardens, in Lymington High Street, which they turned into another wonderfully welcoming family home.  Although retired, Charles continued to work tirelessly on various family projects – updating family memoirs and restoring and listing all the family portraits which dated back to 1760.

Eulogy from Katherine, His Daughter:

Our family have never been big on speeches – that was Dad’s forte –us 3 kids – Dave, Paul and I - would always pick straws to see who had to speak….my last short straw was Dad’s 80^th birthday – and I got lucky as Dad forbade me to speak as he wanted to say it all himself! I ended up just doing a brief welcome toast, but this time is a little different as I don’t have Dad here to bail me out and there are so many things I want to tell you about Dad.  So, fasten your seatbelts and prepare for the journey…..

Firstly, I would like to thank the celebrant for running through a brief timeline of Dad’s life – it’s always strange that we wait until we go to funerals to learn about people and then have all of those questions that we wish we had asked them during their lifetime.   Dad, however left nothing to chance and committed all of his autobiographical memoirs to paper in the form of a hard back book, thus leaving very few unanswered questions and a great reference point for all our dates and details.

Dad was lucky enough to have an extremely full and varied life.  His enthusiasm and zest for life were infectious, even in the last few months, when he wasn’t feeling quite himself.  He always put on a brave face and overcame the odds to enjoy the finer things in life like a glass of wine and some fine food and conversation.  Following his close encounter with the angels in South Africa back in 2009 - when he was hospitalised with endocarditis for 3 months and in true Dad style did his own Hospital Tour of South Africa - every day was a bonus to him and life was never taken for granted.

FAMILY

So, let’s start with family.  Despite his challenging upbringing Dad’s passion for family and friends was extremely apparent.  His commitment to us and Mum – when he finally remembered what her name was - has been unwavering and he has been the most loyal role model, husband, father, grampa, uncle, brother and friend.  The importance of keeping ties with family in England and “across the pond” in the States has meant that he has left behind a strong family lineage and connection which we are all very grateful for.  Great memories of surprise parties in Lexington, Kentucky in 2007 and birthday celebrations in 2010 in Tenby (which saw 31 family members from across the globe meeting up) is testament to all he did and his passion for family connection.  Our big family hike that year, to Barafundle Bay – one of his favourite places in the world - was one of Dad’s particular highlights.  We send all our love to the Bartons who are no doubt celebrating Uncle Charles today, in true Kentucky style.

APPEARANCE and REALITY

Next we come to appearances – we have received so many wonderful messages from all around the world telling us what a gentleman Dad was, and he was.  He was polite, charming, interesting, kind and compassionate, and he was always appropriately attired in his immaculately polished  shoes, cleanly shaven face and well ironed clothes!  But despite this regimental façade, Dad had a mischievous twinkle in his eye, which not everybody always understood.  The number of cheeky and not always appropriate jokes that he told or received on his devices, would often reduce him to giggling tears at the dining table!

Appearance and appropriate behaviour were drummed into us at an early age - One time I had come down to Lymington for the weekend and having my husband Gav in tow had finally been allowed to play golf at Brockenhurst Manor Golf Club.  Appearances matter at the golf club and Gav and I were in big trouble for putting our golf shoes on in the car park as we should have entered the club house to do this.  Dad was particularly horrified that same day when I tucked my trousers into my socks to avoid them from getting muddy which seemed to me like a practical solution and he piped up “Katherine, you cannot possibly wear your trousers like that, it’s worse than wearing a knotted handkerchief on your head.”

Dad had a cunning way with words and a great command of the English language which meant that often people were unaware of the playful nature of his intentions.  In his last trip to Tenby in late October, he had a large bandage covering a third of the right side of his head, after a small procedure.  Naturally everyone he met asked if he was OK and his standard reply was that he had just had a lobotomy and was looking for a suitable brain to replace the one that had been removed… he continued to explain that there was nothing in there at present – some got it, some didn’t, but Paul, being the spectator of this exchange on several occasions, said it was always entertaining, even after hearing it several times!

SPORT

As you have heard already Dad was a formidable athlete and sportsman.  He enjoyed a fit and healthy lifestyle right up to the last few months and tried his hand at every sport imaginable. His passion for sport, sportsmanship and competition never waivered and in recent years his sports participation has been slightly less energetic than it used to be, with a focus on walking, golf and swimming, rather than the demanding pursuits of squash, running and rugby in which he had participated competitively.

Dad was never one to resist a challenge and was not afraid to attempt anything to do with sport – as shown by his cycle from Canada to Mexico at the age of 60 something in 1999. He took any sporting challenge extremely seriously and as with everything else, performed everything to the very best of his ability.

He also became an avid armchair competitor and Test matches and Internationals were followed like a religion in our home.  With Dad’s Welsh and American connection , Mum’s Kiwi roots, Dave’s Ozzie citizenship and the South African son-in-law, Dad always had a vested interest in any sports contest that was happening and his patriotism shone through despite the odds, much to Gav, his son-in-law’s distress!

His love and enjoyment of all sports whether participating or spectating was a passion. Whether it was standing on the freezing touch line watching his UK grandchildren, or blowing the whistle as a referee in a water polo game in South Africa, Dad would be proudly there. His infectious love, encouragement and encyclopedic knowledge of sport is something we have all been inspired by.

Organisation

Dad was perhaps the most organised person I have ever met. Whether he was organising the renovations of Fern House in Tenby, the travel arrangements for the Lad’s Annual Golf Pilgrimage to France or Belgium, or organising flights to visit family in America, Australia or South Africa, his organisational skills were second to none and the hours he spent in his study meticulously planning everything in minute detail was quite remarkable. His persistence and perseverance in getting things done was an example to all of us.  The fact that his files and records are so logical and orderly and it still took us a week to locate his birth and marriage certificates, can only indicate that he was playing a mischievous little game with us – especially as his secret stashes of sweets and chocolates which we have discovered in hiding places all over the house, were so easily detected!

His military training proved invaluable on many occasions and he was always prepared for every eventuality. One memorable incident took place in 1978 whilst on a family road trip in Ghana.  We stopped for a break and in true military style reversed down a side track – I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but ex military personnel always reverse into parking spaces, just in case they have to make a quick getaway.  Well, on this occasion it really did pay off as a few minutes after Dave disappeared into the bush to relive himself, he came racing back saying that he had encountered a massive elephant and sure enough a huge elephant with ears flapping and feet stamping followed him seconds later.  After taking a couple of quick photos, we were able to make our quick exit without a fuss thanks to Dad’s forward planning!

Conversation and Connection

Dad had the uncanny ability to strike up a conversation with absolutely everyone he came across.  He made everyone feel comfortable  - it didn’t matter what you looked like, what your fashion preferences were, or even what your opinions were, everybody was listened to and more importantly heard, and everybody was welcome in our home. Many a heated discussion took place around the dinner table, but Dad was always prepared to listen and offer his opinion and on several occasions, even agree to disagree!

When Dave, Dad and I travelled to Nepal to trek in the Himalayas, Dave and I ended up leaving him for a couple of nights at a Tea House run by an ex-Gurkha soldier, as we had time constraints and Dad thought it would be better if we summitted without him and picked him up on our way down.  2 days later we started our downhill journey and realised we were getting some strange looks from the hikers that were going up the mountain.  After spending a day, feeling rather paranoid at the strange looks we were getting, we settled in to have supper in one of the Tea Houses and got chatting to a young American couple that were on their way up.  During the course of the dinner, not only did they tell us that Dad had told everybody that was going up the mountain to look out for us two tall blonds and that we were “Dad Ditchers” who had abandoned their poor father half way up the mountain, but he had also worked out that his brother Antony, had worked as a medical locum in place of one of this American couple’s fathers in the US for a couple of months many years earlier.

The number of times he was able to establish the seven degrees of separation contact with a total stranger showed his love for conversation and his ability to listen, process and react to the information that he received.

Travel

Dad’s passion for travel - seeing the world and meeting its people was extraordinary, whether from the back of a motorbike in Lao or a First Class seat on a plane.  Throughout his early years, his career in the army and as a Queen’s Messenger and after, he travelled extensively, leaving very few places unexplored.  He had an insatiable interest in people and cultures and had fun and laughed his way around the world in his own  mischievous way. The journeys he took us on and the stories he told as well as his worldly knowledge and experience will be missed by everybody who knew him.

Dad, you have been amazing.  We are so privileged to have been passengers on your amazing journey.  You and Mum’s loyalty to each other has been exemplary.  You have been a wonderful role model to everybody who knew you with your enthusiasm for life and adventure, your relaxed and capable nature, as well as your patience and resilience. You can be proud of the  legacy you have left behind.  We will miss you but will remember you with love and happiness always.

Bon Voyage, Dad!